You Are Insecure & Here Is Why.

Simply put, you are insecure because you are thinking about yourself too much.

Before you get upset, before you click off, take a second to let that sink in.

There is a quote from David Foster Wallace that reads, “there’s a lot of narcissim in self- hatred”. I couldn’t agree more. Self- obsession and self- hatred exist in tandem. One can only find things to hate about themselves, if all they see is themselves. I know that may be hard to believe but, if you truly ponder it, the evidence is there. The constant body checking? Obsession. The incessant looks in the mirror? Obsession. Always wondering what or how others think of you? Honey, you are obsessed with yourself. Full of yourself to the point of over- criticism.

This may not be the way in which you have understood the word obsession, or self- obsession at that. We tend to believe that people who are so preoccupied with themselves are the epitome of confidence and self- assuredness. Time and time again, that has been proven to be false. Self obsession is a mask worn to hide from the deep shame and self hatred that exists beneath. Ironically, it is one who is free from the obsession of self, that loves himself the most.

You still don’t believe me?

Why is it that people who are most obsessed with themselves, cause the most harm to themselves? This self obsession must be a facade, a perfume sprayed excessively to cover an impending stench.

You hate yourself because all you ever think about is yourself. The pathways of positive and negative thoughts all lead straight to you and you alone. It is over concentrated, too much for one being to handle. You need to dilute it.

Let me break it down a bit more. Cue the beatboxing music.

Haha! Sorry, this is serious!

Whether faith is important to you or not, a common principle found in faith is the principle of selflessness. Having more of an outward focus, than a me focus. There is an emphasis on prioritizing others over oneself. In this day and age, where self'- obsession has become so common and accepted as normal, being told to prioritize others may sound like a foreign language. How can we care for, and notice others, when we are too busy noticing ourselves?

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others”- Phillippians 2:3-4.

How could you not be insecure? The magnifying glass has been on you, and you alone this whole time.

Please believe me when I say this is not an attack. This isn’t an invalidation of how you may be feeling. As someone who struggled with insecurities galore during my adolescence, I understand and empathize with how you may be feeling. Feeling that way is okay. I am just here to present you with an alternative view of that mindset.

When I stopped worrying about me, me, me all of the time, when I finally looked at my heart and not the mirror, a huge weight was taken off of me. When I made other women feel beautiful, I, in return felt beautiful as well. It’s almost as if beauty comes from within, who would have thought right? HAHA!

When I started looking to God as my mirror instead, He reflected to me an image I had never seen before. One that I could never find fault in. His image. Look to God and He will beautify you.

Next time you’re out, give that lady on the bus a compliment, help that old man count his coins, take care of someone else’s needs. Watch how quickly you feel less self- conscious when the magnifying glass is put on someone else.

(These are my thoughts and opinions.

Please Don’t hate me, or do, I guess that is up to you).

Courtesy of Pinterest