Through Pain, a Heart Must Soften.
Do you understand what it is like to have a heart of stone? A heart that has become immovable, callous, apathetic, and cold. A heart that has changed its condition, with or without your permission. It happens so sneakingly sometimes, right beneath the tip of your nose. A heart, a being that was once soft, kind, loving, impressionable, is no longer recognizable. It is no longer a friend, leading you in love and understanding. Rather it is fulfilling prophecy,
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”. -Jeremiah 17:9
It takes sometime to notice these changes that have occurred within you. Days, weeks, sometimes years may go by before you even recognize something about you is different, something has shifted.
You are no longer saddened by the news of innocent blood being shed across the globe, you are now judgmental of the homeless man begging on the street corner, you no longer hold empathy for people going through difficult situations. You are unable to feel. You are hardened, impenetrable by love, impermeable to joy, insensitive to The Spirit.
It is after this hardness is brought to your attention that you begin to beg the question,
“what happened to me?”.
“Who am I?”.
“Who have I become?”.
You pray a prayer of desperation, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting”. -Psalm 139: 23-24
What you fail to recognize is that in asking God to search your heart, you have given Him permission to not leave you the same. Transformation must ensue.
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.". Ezekiel 36:26
How does this transformation take place? Well, I’ll tell you.
It’s quite ironic actually.
Often times, it is pain that leads one to hardness. A heart previously made of flesh becomes stone after countless amounts of disappointment, endless heartache, unanswered prayers, and difficulties. Such occurrences slowly repeating themselves, piling on top of one another, until discreetly, they build a wall around your heart. Refusing to let emotions in or out, denying you of a clear line of view to see God. Before you know it, you are numb.
Ironically, pain will also become the catalyst to your softening.
(Isn’t that something? Isn’t God just so interesting in how He works? This is why we do not lean to our own understanding right, we just might blow a fuse lol.)
Just when it seems like you’ve been through enough, you know that moment where you’re like, “Surely God is done now right? Surely the lessons are learned?”, as you force out some nervous laughter.
It is then that you find yourself in another difficult situation, another painful moment, another heartache. And as much as you want to throw the towel in, give up, and tell God you’re tired of this relationship, you don’t leave.
Instead, you notice that something is different this time. Something within you feels new. Something within you feels soft.
You lift your hands to your face and to your surprise, you wipe away the tears that had refused to visit you for months. You’re crying, the numbness has taken its leave.
You feel again.
Then you remember that prayer you prayed. You remember asking God to lead you in the way everlasting. You remember His promise of a new heart. You sit with the revelation of a heart in transit. A heart on its way back to how it was intended to be.
Prophecy being fulfilled,
Ezekiel 36:26.
Now, you’ve been made aware of hearts that do not break but rather melt. Wilt. Turn to clay. You are now privy to those instances where cold hearts become warm, where hearts of stone become flesh.
What about these moments do we notice?
That there is a certain tool that the Lord uses to break down the walls that have erected themselves around the hearts of His children. This tool is called pain, and this pain is not meant to hurt you this time, it is meant to change you.
Through pain, a heart must soften.
It is the presence and the perseverance through painful experiences that we as humans go from a heart that can look to another in pain and say to them with apathy, “ what is wrong with you, get up, get over it”, to a place where you can look someone in the eyes and say to them with empathy, “ don’t worry, I am here with you. I understand, I know the feeling all too well”.
Dear reader, yes you.
Do not be surprised that after you have asked God to help you feel again, to help your heart heal again, that He brings you back to a place of perceived suffering, a place of molding, a place you did not want to return.
The demolition of a wall isn’t always the prettiest sight. It isn’t the nicest feeling either. It is simply necessary. It must be done. Trust me, you will feel every second of this transformation. You will notice every blow. But, when it is all said and done, you will hear the beating sound of a new heart. A heart that can hold hands with another, a heart that can lay itself down, a heart that is no longer cold, callous or numb.
A heart that has become flesh.
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